Blackjack Jokes

Tip me - Tip me not

The English Lord and the dealer talk about tips. The Lord has 13 in his hand, and the dealer would like to get a tip.

  • Well, I think I shouldn't give you a tip, don't you agree? - Says the Lord.
  • Sir, if you are in a restaurant, will you tip your waiter? - Says the dealer.
  • Well, yes, of course.
  • Moreover, is it his fault if the food was bad? Would you tip him anyway?
  • Well, I would. - Says the Lord.
  • So, why wouldn't you tip me also?
  • Well, the waiter gives me what I ordered. If you give me 8, I will tip you, too.

Friends & Money

The man won 1.000.000 $ in the casino. When he came home, he hid the money in his backyard. The following morning, the money was gone, but he found the trace leading to the house of his neighbor, who didn't hear and couldn't talk.

The man went to his friend who knew sign language and told him the whole story. They both went to visit his neighbor.

The man said: ' if he doesn't tell me where is my money, I will kill him.'

The man's friend repeats the sentence in sign language, and the poor man said where the money was hidden.

' He said he would rather die'

Pulling down a lever

After a weekend spent in Vegas with their wives, three friends are talking:

  • I am so tired, I couldn't sleep all night, cause my wife flings all night long, yelling seven comes eleven.
  • I am even more tired. My wife played Blackjack. The whole night she yells 'hit me light, hit me hard'.
  • Well, you have nothing to complain about. My wife played slots.
  • So?
  • Well, I woke up with my butt full of coins, and I needn't tell you what she used as a lever.